The New Normal?

Today I had a doctors appointment. I am not really going to get into the whole story of why I was there but I have hit a bit of wall getting my eyesight right with the new prescription I got.  I have had diplopia (double vision) for about 6 years and it was always corrected with a prism adjustment in my glasses. Well its not working despite 3 trips to the optometrist 2 sets of different lenses a referral to a optometrist who doesn't seem to want to call me back and being put on yet another wait list to see an ophthalmologist (4-6 month). It wasn't my GP at the clinic today I got a resident!  I must say I was pleasantly surprised.  She was very thorough asked a lot of question about my current health. She did several little assessments and I felt she did a really good job! Now one thing in her assessments she asked me if certain things seem "normal". I answered "Ya, I think so". But you know what? I think that's a lie? Truth be told I am not sure if I remember what normal feels like? I think I have become complacent with many things and that's just the norm for me now. Somebody asked me if I was OK as I seemed to be walking a little funny and I answered "I'm fine, that's normal." because for me, it kind of is.  But really, it's not "normal". Not everyone I see walks around like a fucking penguin who just polished off a 24 pack of beer. But when people ask me "How ya feeling/doing/hanging?" I don't really wanna say "I'm sore/shaky/shitty/have a headache as usual." although sometime I am sure it is pretty obvious how I feel. I do admit I think I have gotten pretty good at faking when I feel like crap. It's Fight or Flight and most days I choose to FIGHT with the occasional "I don't wanna move out of bed!" day showing up occasionally. 

PEACE 

Darrin