You know how I said it is hard to keep all my thoughts together? Sometimes, I start a blog, get distracted, come back to it, reread it and decide I don't want to talk about that anymore. Example; I started a blog to tell the story about a lady who accused me of abusing my handicap parking permit. I had posted about the moment on a my Facebook wall and was amazed by the remarks it got. It was a moment of great anger and frustration, even typing the text on my phone was difficult because my hands were so shaky which they often are, but when I get worked up its way worse.
So ya, I don't want to talk about her anymore....
Trying to stay positive is hard, I mean, its really hard. It seems like every few months something gets stolen from me. Snowboarding, golfing, biking, talking, walking, seeing, and the list goes on. When I walk into a room it feels like the mood changes, not always, but enough. If I am meeting or talking to someone who doesn't know my situation, I wonder what they must be thinking and the things they are going to say after I leave. I know a lot of you are saying "You shouldn't care what anybody else thinks or says!" and there was a time that I know I would have said the same thing. But, its tough to help thinking that. How is this even fair?..... It's not..... As a result your self confidence becomes lessened and you find it harder to stand up for yourself. But I'm adjusting to it and it's always going to be a work in progress.
Friends and family are empowering though, I don't think I can stress that enough. When you take a situation like the time with the
Peace!
Darrin
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