Frustration for me is at an all-time high. I have next to no patience lately. EVERYTHING is just wearing me down. Just once, I want some good news. It doesn’t even have to be any kind of a big thing. The next person who tells me that “Things Can Only Get Better.” is going to get a throat punch with my Rhino cane from my clumsy ass. A few weeks back I was thinking about to say screw it to this whole blogging thing, I got away from that, but I am back at that place. It’s still a thing of therapy for me and I am pretty sure after I smash a few lines on my keyboard this time I will feel a little bit better. Truth be told even the whole blogging thing is getting harder, the time it takes to try and type out even just a few sentences seems to take forever, I get tired of switching between my reading glasses and my distance glasses’ and no, I can’t wear bifocals. I am so tired of the repeated trips to the Ophthalmologist where nobody can give me any clear cut answer as to whether or not to try surgery or not. There is a conference National Conference put on by the National Ataxia Federation this March, but I don’t know if I can afford to go. Certain people have me annoyed. So since we are here let’s clear up a few things. If we make plans to do something you can be certain that I will do everything I can to make that happen, often it is at my own expense. Know that I appreciate those moments more than you realize. Sometimes I don’t show or I cancel on you last minute, it doesn’t happen often, but it definitely does happen. Know that I hate myself when I do that to people. To me every time you cancel on someone it means less of chance that that person wants to hang with you again. There’s a few of you out there who I have reached out to, that I was pretty close with who don’t seem to give a fuck and have totally ghosted me. Why do I make excuses for these people continuously? Every one of us has got shit going on and sure isn’t right for me to judge someone else so I hope those people know that I am always here to help how when or where ever I can. Sure I got shit going on, but to help people with theirs can help me forget about my shit. Why, can’t I find another word for shit?
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